review # 19:that new King Kong

This visually stunning remake of King Kong was kinda dumb. In short: -the ape is not so much like an ape, but more like Neo in the Matrix. While fighting those dinosaurs, he didn't drop the girl ONCE?? I call bullshit. -When the Brontosaurus' stampede, well that was just stupid. the actors were slowly jogging along, but not getting out of the way. theres more, but im gonna stop. maybe ill get back to this.....

review # 18:Seattle's Ballard Public Library on a thursday before 11 am

It's been a while since my last post because I have no internet connection at home and it is really pissing me off. I come down to the library at least once a day to check my mail, take care of any of that financial bullshit we all go through, or do whatever else. If I am lucky enough to get a computer, it's only one of the fifteen minute stations, so I can't really do a lot. Last night at work I forgot to cash my check so I had to go to the bank this morning to do it. the library is right across the street so i stopped in to do my shit. I'm also expecting a lot of comics books I've had on hold since I paid off $60 in late fees. I walked in and to my suprise the place was dead. most of the 15 minute computers are free and a few of the 1 hour ones are even open( im on one now) And I don't hear any screaming kids, or stupid new mothers that my generation has produced who are rying in vain to control them. It's like a REAL library! I think I'll be stopping in here next week to see if it's still as accomidating. If so, I'll be posting more reviews...excellent...

Guest Review by Honey Dew: Alley Cat cat food

What the hell is this? That bastard has the job of buying my food just once and he gets the cheapest shit he can find? My owner, she was getting me purina one and shit...I was livin large, but now I dont even want to touch my bowl. I'll eat it eventually, my fat ass doesn't do ANYTHING but eat. I'm gonna bitch about it until she gets me the good stuff and he's wasted his money.

Review #17: Fantastic Foods Original Hummus mix

I haven’t tried may types of hummuses, but I know what it tastes like. This particular kind, a mix to which you add water and oil, isn’t so bad. It doesn’t seem as creamy as I remember hummus being, but I enjoy eating it nonetheless. I don’t have any whet crackers or pita chips to eat it on, but I do have that wonderful Middle Eastern delicacy…pre-sliced white bread! It looks crumbly but spreads nice. I even put it in the fridge while I went to work and its still as good as when I made it. Just a side note: I only got this because it was 99 cents in the dico bin at work because it was about to "go bad" . I think the SRP is like $1.99

Review #16: X-Factor (vol.2) #4

Let me try to set this up…Years ago, there was a government backed team of mutants called X-Factor. It first consisted of the original X-Men, and then switched to a group of second stringers. I don’t know what ended up happening to that team, but most of them are in this new incarnation. One of them is Jamie Madrox, The Multiple Man. He can make clones of himself. Last year there was a series I only caught th first issue of called Madrox wherein Jamie starts an investigation agency. Jump ahead to late last year, that House of M fiasco the Marvel Mutants had to deal with…Thanks to Scarlet Witch, most mutants lost their powers leaving only 198 mutants on earth. I think that was a great idea because it seemed like they were popping up everywhere. Most of them were probably trendy metromutants anyway. In the aftermath of M-day (a mutant related thing that doesn’t start with X?!? How novel.) Madrox forms a group of muties, some from the old X-factor, some from other x-teams that are now defunct (x-force, Generation-x). So is born the non-government related X-factor investigations. This book is written by comic superstar Peter David who made the Hulk famous. He does a good job setting up the story. The group just solved the murder of a woman by a movie star. While this too four issues, it seems in doing so they ruffled the feathers of another agency, Singular Investigations. SI also had a hitman sent back to them in a pine box courtesy of Layla Miller. Now who the hell is she? That’s the question. In the first issue, she shows up and no one knows who she is. She’s this little blonde girl who keeps saying she “knows stuff”. It gets kind of annoying and I thought she was some lame Veronica Mars knock off. Then in the end of issue three, she killed that hitman then sent him back in issue four. No one else on the team has any idea about this exept for Monet, who only really thinks about herself. So, like I said, the question is who is she and whats her game? I like the art by, good lord, I just looked and it’s a team of FOUR artists…I’m not gonna list them. Anyway, it’s got a film noir-ish look to it, which I think is the goal. Sometimes it looks funny, like Rhane looks like Shenade O’Connor with a mane. Some parts look really good, though, like the last page of issue four where Syrin gets beaten good by the son of the head Singular guy. Am I going to keep reading this? Hell, yeah.

review # 15: Snoqualime Seasonal brew: Spring Fever

It tastes like soap.

Review # 14: Katamari Damaci

If you own a Playstation 2 and have not played Katamari Damacy, you are not using the Playstation to even a tenth of its potential. I know rolling things up into a giant ball may not sound like fun to a lot of people, but to them I say if you let your pre-judgments rule, you will never experience the joy that Katamari Damacy was put on this earth to dispense. This game can be picked up for about twenty dollars at any video game store. I borrowed it from a friend about a year ago and just recently borrowed the sequel “We love Katamari” from another friend. The story behind this addicting game is unimportant unless you’re on a substance that makes EVERYTHING significant. The King of All Cosmos is a long-winded blowhard who never says anything of importance. Thank god you can skip most of what he says. Then you, the prince, start rolling a ball about the size of a walnut around picking up various objects that stick to it, picking up bigger objects as the ball gets bigger. There is something very therapeutic about rolling the entire world up (which you get to do by the end of the first one) and shooting it into space. Like Grand Theft Auto, but less bloody and more fun. One drawback of the game can best be illustrated by a quote from Stephanie, my roommate who has already spent hours more than me playing the sequel: “Time is moving by too quickly with this damn game.”

Review# 13: Deathwish (1974)

Why is it that whenever a movie finally shows a guy in a speedo or something, it’s a guy that looks like Charles Bronson? We get to see a lot of his in-shape yet aged body in the first scene of Deathwish. Refraining from making any jokes about wishing I was dead after that I must say that this movie was very, very cool. The premise is an architect (Bronson) goes vigilante after his wife and daughter are attacked in their home by street punks. The copy on the video says: “His daughter is raped, his wife raped and murdered.” First of all the wife isn’t raped at all. Secondly, the daughter is only barley raped, by Jeff Goldblum in a jughead hat, no less. She does suffer a humiliating experience at the hands of a thug named “Spraycan”. You should just see it. After the wife dies and the daughter goes nuts and becomes a vegetable, Bronson goes to, um…Arizona I think…the southwest somewhere, on business and this cowboy takes him to a shooting range. There we learn why Bronson is both a bleeding-heart liberal and a dead-eye with a pistol. Upon returning to New York he hits the streets, taking out muggers with knives by SHOOTING THEM UNTIL THEY’RE DEAD! This movie rocks, I can’t wait to see the sequels! It seems pretty low budget, but the cinematography is good with some GREAT location settings. The score by Herbie Hancock is perfect as well. I’ll try to get some images up here soon. I’m having connection trouble.

Review #12: Rebel Yell Whiskey

I got this jug for $15.95. Not bad, but the problem is I drank the whole bottle last night. It had a pretty good flavor to it, but I mixed it with Coke as always. As I repeatedly told my friend Bob while I was drinking it, it got me tanked. So very very tanked.

Review #11: How Ambulance LTD looks.

I haven't heard this band at all, but I guess I sould. It would be the only polite thing to do after writing this review. My review is of this god-awful picture of them I came across. Why is every band now made up of ugly starving-looking mother fuckers who don't know how to comb their hair? The "look" doesnt even always work, like the third guy from the left. That style just doesn't suit him, but he'll do it because I guess its all the rage in Brooklyn or whatever. You know, The Strokes don't even look like that anymore.

Review # 10: Scary Movie #3

I know this movie came out a while ago, but I just saw it last night. The first scene sort re-enforced something I've known for a long time. As Pamela Anderson and Jenny McCarthy were running about with their cleavage being presented to the audience, I noticed that the phone that was ringing was made by GE. The thing is womens' breasts are something that drive straight men crazy. They love them, and they want to see them. I, on the other hand, don't. But, the world wasn't built around me. If anything I'm jealous that I don't have something that can magically hypnotize men and get them to do my bidding. There is a movie out now called Date Movie that was made by "four of ther six directors of Scary Movie." I noticed that In Scary Movie three the people that were missing were the Wayans'. The movie seemed to be missing something without them. I'll edit this more, but Im drunk and feel ill. Ok Im back. This movie got a few chuckles out of me but the biggest setback was it's 8 Mile parody. Not only was it not funny, it lasted way too long especially for a parody of a non-horror movie. When I saw the fisrt Scary Movie I hoped to see the lead actress do more, I liked her. The only other thing I've seen her in was May which I think went straight to video. And now she's blonde, which doesn't look that good on her.

review# 9: Stouffer's frozen dinners

Last night I got Spaghetti and a bacon cheddar potato bake for $2 a pop at the QFC( quality food centers). When you're drunk and looking for a quick anything to eat this stuff is the shit. The potato bake was awsome. Tonight I got the bonless chicken breast and mashed potatoes and it wasn't nearly as good as these others. As far as frozen goes, these two are definitley tops. even in the microwave! The potatoes take about 5 min and the spaghetti takes about 6. Dont know the regular price but if they go on sale, go for it.